We’re home! The kids were still up and active and were so excited to see us. My husband was also really thrilled to tell his stories to his mom. As for me, I was really tired already and just wanted to lay down and sleep. We got ourselves ready for bed and laid down to put my tired eyes to rest.
As I lay down, I had a hard time catching up on some snooze. The experience was still fresh in my head and I was so hung up on the idea that I never had a wedding worth bragging… You must wonder now why I was so fixated with the idea. You’d understand how I feel after you read the next statements telling you how what my wedding was like.
Brian and I had a simple home wedding in the province of Rizal. It was in his granny’s late sister’s house. We were, that time, already expecting our firstborn. I never wore a beautiful white dress… I only wore a white preggy blouse we picked up a week before at the mall and my then-favorite preggy pants. My husband looked tidy in his white shirt and semi-formal pants. I never had a make-up artist. I was the one who put my own make up on. I did my own hair too. It was nothing big… I never did that special bridal walk down the aisle because there was no aisle to walk on in the first place… On my way to the ceremony, I rode in our family van, together with everyone in my family. I was never delivered by that beautiful, white, vintage bridal car. I never had flower girls nor ring bearers. I never had bridesmaids and groomsmen. We never had a big entourage. We only had two pairs of sponsors, not like the others who had a handful. And since it was a very small event, the invited guests were also really just few. Only my immediate family were present, no one from my close friends were there to celebrate the union with me. Most of the visitors were from my husband’s side. The food, which was served at the dining area just beside the living area where we were being married, was home cooked by my husband’s mom and aunts. The living area, where the ceremony was held, was designed by them as well. The pastor who presided the union was my husband’s granny’s late sister’s late husband (hope you got that or hope I got that.) Everything was small since the ceremony was rushed. Everything was not grand. At that time, that was what we could afford … We just wanted to get married for the sake of marrying each other and because we really wanted to legalize everything before the baby got out…
Whenever I think of my wedding, I sometimes feel sad, not because I resent being married, but the way I got married. Whenever we attend wedding ceremonies, I always end up creating my own dream marriage ceremony. With two kids, I still picture myself wearing my envious satin wedding gown which is crisp white with a sweetheart cut beaded bodice and princess-like ball gown with black floral lace details. There’s also a black satin sash tied on my waist. I hold in my hands a bouquet of deep red and white roses. My hair is loosely curled and worn down. My make-up is gonna be fresh, clean and natural looking. As for my husband, he patiently waits for me at the altar, looking dreamy in black tux, hair neatly fixed. My flower girls, including my daughter, will be wearing their cute different styled black and white gowns which matches the bridesmaids’ gowns… My bible bearer, who is my son, and my coin and ring bearers would all look dapper in their little tux and bowtie like those worn by my husband’s groomsmen. The black, white and deep red motif would be seen from the gowns, the décor, everything! I would be celebrating the ceremony as the sun rises to symbolize a new beginning and everything would be done by the beach for a very lovely, backdrop… I would still experience that “Aw” moment as my wedding march plays, Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk, and my dad, mom and I walk down the aisle. Everything’s gonna be in slow motion as I walk down the aisle. Just like those wedding scenes in the movies. Everyone, I bet, would be teary-eyed as they listen to our heartfelt vows. They would enjoy the delectable food served at their tables. And this time around, when we have that dream wedding, every close relative and friend would be invited.
But of course, just like every dream, you wake up back to reality. Then I wonder, would everything be different had I had my dream wedding?
Then God would remind me of a realization. Getting married, of course, is a very, very special step every serious couple will take. It is a big chapter of a couple’s lives. But then again, what’s the most important part of it all?
To me, the most important part of the wedding for a woman, same goes for a man, is that special woman walking down that aisle or special man waiting for you at the altar. That woman or man must be the same person they always dreamt of having to spend their lifetime.
As for me, I might not have that grand wedding everyone wish could have. But, I am lucky! At a very young age, I was able to find that person, Brian. Though I never had that dreamlike ceremony, I bet everyone’s still envious because I ended up with the man of my dreams and now I am sharing my forever with him. And I know one day, even if we’re already old, we would celebrate our renewal of our vows the way I had always dreamt it would be.
For now, I have to settle with the experience of my wedding and be happy and thankful for being blessed that I am with the same man I almost lost to someone… Ooooppsss! Now that’s a different story worth telling later, or NOT… ;-)
