The Joys of Motherhood

It’s half past 11 pm and I am, again, on a conquest of finding a way to put these tired eyes to sleep… I was searching (yep! You read that right!!!), yet again, over the internet for articles that I could read. And since I started my blog with a topic related to marriage, why not make one that is also closely connected to marriage... PARENTHOOD.

I’m happy and very proud to let you know that I am a mother of two lovely, super energetic and over inquisitive kids… My eldest, David Alexander, the independent “kuya”, is 6 years old and is now in Preparatory level. My youngest, the family’s little princess, is a lovely 3-year old girl, Mikaela Abigail.

I gave birth to Dave at a young age… I was turning 23 when I had him… I was at the prime of my youth and while others, who were the same age as I am, were enjoying their lives as a young professional in a big corporate world, there I was slowly building a career as a mother… My office was our home and my job was to be a doting mom to Dave.

 I would admit, at first I enjoyed the experience. Seeing his first smile, teaching him his first step and hearing the first time he called me “Mama”, those small stuff brought me to tears as I saw my young one develop and grow right in front of my eyes…

But, like any mother, I also came to a point where I felt lost… Especially, when I get in touch with my friends who are having fun outside of the country, achieving their dreams and getting to do all of the adventures I thought I would have at that time… But, being me, I let it pass and before you know it, here I am, taking care of two kids… At some point, I thought that I would end up like one of those women who chose to be a stay-at-home moms, some living a life of routines, while others live a life of regret and thinking of their “what ifs”… (Now now… Before you condemn me and tell me of my unfair judgment towards stay-at-home mothers, mind you, I was one also, and there is NOTHING wrong with being a mom who stays at home… My mother was a career woman who chose to let go of her dreams and decided to take care of her 4 children. I am proud of her and envious of other mothers' courage to let themselves go and build a career out of motherhood. The only reason why I mentioned the phrases “routine life” and “life filled with regrets” is because these were what I felt when I was a “just” a mother, and nothing else…)

But I realized that out of the cycles and the daily routines, out of the trips to their pedia, out of the numerous times that I had to break up a fight between them two, and how heartbreaking it is when you have to tell them to “go face the wall” and hear them sob and cry and sometimes despise me because of the punishment they get, I learned to appreciate every bits and pieces of experiences that I was able to gather when I became a parent… Each lesson that I learned from my mother, every advice that she taught me, every small reminder that she used to tell me, I am now parting to my own little ones… The discipline and strict character of my dad, I am now able to use it to my kids as well. It is true they say that you would never learn to genuinely appreciate your parents, unless you become a parent yourself.

I learned that it’s not the gifts that I receive during Mother’s Day nor on my own birthday that brings joy to me as a parent… It is when my kids call out to me and ask for my help, when they give me a bear hug in public, when they play with me and have a great laugh with me, when they give me a butterfly kiss as I am about to go to work or when they tell me “I love you Mama” over the phone, these are my simple joys as a mother and I would continue to enjoy them as long as they need me because I know time will come, these small stuff would be gone and I would miss them once my own kids have a life of their own… But for now, I am their mom and I would be here for them, until the last day of my life…

Choosing the Right Man to Marry

Out of boredom, and being burned out from all of the reporting stuff that I had to do today (plus those dizzying lines of the spreadsheet that I have been staring at for the past 4 or 5 hours already and the finger/hand-cramping keyboard commands "CTRL+C" and "CTRL+V"), I got this curiosity to research about the topic of “How to choose the Right Man to Marry?” 

Now, before you jump into any conclusions, I am not regretting the man I'm married to. I am lucky to have been with the same guy for the past… Hmmm… Let’s not give out the numbers anymore because I know you would be calculating how old I am which would go beyond my topic... (and it's just rude to ask or know how old a woman is... it's like asking how much she weighs!) It's just that the topic popped into my head and I was a bit curious if there's anyone else looking for the same matter... and not surprisingly, there were a lot of people who thought of the same thing... Well, going back, after typing the subject in the search bar, I was surprised to see hundreds of results to answer my question… 

This one particular link that I laid my eyes onto got me reading.  “How to Choose the Right Man to Marry?”at eHow.com. According to the article, “Choosing the right man to marry can be challenging currently, when people seem to marry just for the sake of being married so they are not alone.” This one I could very much agree to. Getting married out of fear of solitude is NOT, and SHOULD NOT be the main reason for getting married. When you marry someone, it should be with the one whom you are most compatible with and of course one whom you are madly in love with, and vice versa. 

Oftentimes, especially with people who are getting old and desperate (so sorry for the term), people get into marriage without even thinking of the consequences of their actions.  Marriage is a sacred covenant that should be consummated by two consenting individuals who are willing to spend their eternity together. To simplify the explanation, marriage should be between a man and a woman who are, not just into each other, but for and with each other... Did I make any sense??? Guess not... Hahaha!!! Oh well! What the heck... 

Going back, nowadays, and maybe one of the reasons also why divorce, annulment or separation is rampant, some couples get married out of fear of being alone, out of pregnancy, and worst, just because of the presents, which I really find very, very, VERY STUPID… If you wanted presents, why not celebrate CHRISTMAS or your BIRTHDAY every day?! Why marry?! Geez!

 

Now I am not one to say what should your reason or reasons should be before entering marriage, and just to state to you, my readers (holler if there’s anyone out there!!!), I am neither subject matter expert. I’m just talking out of experience. And all that I would share with you are based on my the life’s lessons that I was able to gather all throughout the entire years of my being married with Brian, MY perfect man…

 

Below you’ll find the steps in finding the perfect man based on the article that I had just mentioned.

1.       Finding the perfect man is never an easy task and never goes according to any plan that one may develop in her head. The first step to finding the perfect man for you is figuring out exactly what you want and begin to acquire those qualities. 

2.       Becoming what you wish to attract is always the best course of action in attracting the right man to choose for marriage. If you want a trustworthy man, you must become a trustworthy woman; if you want a caring man, then you need to become a caring woman. This simple technique will help you attract the right type of man to you, and then choosing the right man is easy.

3.       Rushing into a relationship never works. Take your time and develop a strong friendship first before heading to the next level. Building a strong friendship allows the two of you to gain the trust and open communication, which is vital to a healthy relationship.

4.       Relaxing and taking the time to get to know a man inside and out is a great way to determine if he is the right one to choose for marriage. Do not try to hurry love, as the song says; go leisurely, always take your time, and if the relationship does not seem right on the mark, back off.

5.       Settling for a mediocre relationship is never good, so do not settle for it. Speak up if there is something huge that irks you. You deserve a man who will make you feel great, emotionally, sexually and in all the ways, which are important in a relationship. Men who begin belittling you or controlling in the early stages of the relationship will only do it more as time passes.

 

Main point is to never marry unless you are ready and  you’re 100% sure that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with the same person.

 

To close this article, I’d like to leave all of you one question. This is the question that my husband asked himself before we got married. Which is also the same question that each guy, and girl, for that matter, should ask themselves if they are seriously considering marriage. If you could see yourself sleeping with and waking up with the same person for the next 50 years or so, and spend almost 24 hours of the day with him/her and still feel the same way you felt the very first time you got together with him/her, then you could consider getting married with him/her. (too many him's or her's, but you got the idea right?!)

for the first time

for the first time, i gave in to the persuasion of one of my colleagues, and friend, also my badminton buddy, AYSA, into making my own blog to air out anything and everything that's running through my mind...

i'm new at this kind of fad so please be more patient and understanding when reading through my posts. 


as a person who likes to keep a journal with me at all times (which my husband totally disagrees with), i am fond of writing stuff... be it a simple argument with Brian (yep! that's his name... but most of the time, I call 'im "be" or "da") ;-) or to the more complicated stuff like those times when stupid questions comes rushing through my brain and i try to complicate it even more by over-analyzing every bits and turns and ups and downs of how to answer or work out a solution to what started or ought to be just a simple dilemma... i could delve into more serious stuff like tips or advice about relationships, the how-to's of being a mom, or my exploits as a simple human being in this wide, wide world... you'd most likely see some recipes and steps on how to cook my favorite dishes... and as i think of topics that i could be writing or let's just say talking of, the list keeps on getting longer and longer.

so, without further ado, i give you MS. MELANCHOLIC PROCRASTINATOR... 


have fun reading my thoughts!!!